Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Flawless Conversations. I'm Tameka Jones and today we're diving into how mindset can shift your life.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: Your confidence, your purpose.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: You're watching now Media Television.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Welcome. Welcome to Flawless Conversations, where we create space for healing, growth, and powerful, powerful transformation. I'm your host, Tamika Jones.
So many women feel called to share their voice, build a brand, or step into leadership.
Yet the fear of criticism keeps them silent.
Today's guest understands that emotional struggle deeply. She deeply understand that struggle. Melanie Whitaker is a marketing strategist and a public relations consultant who helps women keep and step into their visibility with confidence as well as clarity. But today, we're not just talking marketing. We're talking about emotional resilience.
What is required to be seen.
Melanie, welcome to Flawless Conversations.
[00:01:20] Speaker C: Hi, Tamika. Thank you for having me.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Yes.
Flawless Family. Many women fear that one negative comment online could shatter their confidence.
Visibility sometimes feel vulnerable because it exposes our identity, values and self worth to public opinion. Melanie, why does public visibility feel so vulnerable, especially when we're online, like on social media platforms?
[00:01:57] Speaker C: Because you're putting yourself out there for the world to see and not everybody is going to jive or agree with what you talk about.
And we all know it takes one bad comment and it can leave us reeling for the rest of the day. And so we, we focus on that one negative rather than maybe 10 positive statements that you were in a day.
So there's a feeling of being vulnerable by just putting yourself out there.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Social media, people on social media can be really brutal. Right from your hair, from your makeup, criticizing the way you talk, all the things. Right.
So yeah, just, yeah, I mean, for.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: Women, it's definitely body image. We struggle about body image. We worry if people will cancel us because there's a very big cancel culture.
Sometimes people can feel like, oh, but if I say this, I could lose followers and then no one's gonna, you know, buy from me.
And so there's a lot of this negative chatter in our mind and it's all keeping you small.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: Yes. So then how can women separate other people's opinion from their own self worth?
[00:03:19] Speaker C: I absolutely love this question because it's something I tell myself all the time.
An opinion is exactly what it says. It's an opinion.
It's not a fact.
My opinion will be totally different to someone who's living in China or living in Australia or living where you live in America.
Everyone's got different opinions and it's due to how you were brought up. Social conditioning, where you're born in the world, maybe your religion.
All these different factors make us form opinions.
But my opinion will be totally different from others. And so if you was to put a hundred people in a room, there's going to be varying different opinions in a room of 100 people. But all of them are just opinions. It doesn't make them a fact.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: Right? Doesn't make them right or wrong.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: It just is.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: It's their opinion. And it's okay to have your opinion, my opinion. Right. It's okay.
[00:04:26] Speaker C: It's healthy to have your own mind.
But what's wrong and unhealthy is when you want to cancel someone for having.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Their opinion or that judgment behind it, right?
Absolutely. What grounding practices can help calm that nervous system after such criticism and judgment or, or someone harsh opinion. What, what grounding practices do you use? Or can you help other women or explain to the flawless family different methods you use?
[00:05:01] Speaker C: Meditating is wonderful.
Even if you can only do it maybe just two minutes, maybe if you're so busy you're feeling that anger come up or shame come up or whatever negative thing that is you're feeling.
Calm your mind for two minutes. If you've got longer, 5, 10, however long you can do, just feel yourself in that moment and keep telling yourself, I am safe, I am safe. It is okay to be seen.
I love music. Music's very healing. We all have different tastes in music, so I like to put on my music and then shake it out. Do a load of dancing, like move my body.
Like if we just stay static, we can, you know, we hear the phrase stuck in a rut. And so if you stay in that negative emotion, it could affect you for the rest of your day. Especially if it's happened first thing in the morning and you don't want to be in that for the rest of the day. And it will have a knock on effect with every person you encounter because you're staying in it and it's snowballing and it's getting worse.
So always just, you know. And if you can go outside, if you've got spare time, you know, we hear the phrase touch grass, but literally, like go for a walk. Literally getting up off your chair and going for a walk will clear your mind and it will also give you inspiration.
So just remember to not stay in the funk. And that can be done in many, many ways. So meditating, going outside, dancing to music, there might be a hobby that you have.
Why not do that? Why not set aside some time if you're having a really bad day and say, do you know what?
10 minutes I'm going to assign to this hobby, and I swear to God, it'll take you out of that funk you're in because you're doing something you enjoy.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: Yes, Yes. I totally agree with all those practices. Yeah. And I was going to say the same thing you just said. When I.
My nervous system get all out of whack, I have to always reel myself back in and say, tamika, what do you love?
What do you see? What do you smell? Right. What do you feel? Yeah, Right. What do you love? And that kind of brings me back to a calm state, right?
Because it's so easy to. To. To. To get out of whack with when.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: When.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: When you hear judgment or criticism. Right. It's so easy to just.
[00:07:25] Speaker C: You know, you just made me think, actually, Tamika, calming the mind.
We live in a fast world.
And that one statement that could send you off the edge, and then you're reeling and you're going down the rabbit hole of, oh, calm your mind.
Calm it. You know, if you see a child, a little toddler, having a meltdown, the worst thing that you can do is poke the bear and make them more antagonized. You calm the child down. We are adults, but there's an inner child in us at all times, Right. We've got triggers for all. Many reasons. So when you are feeling triggered, treat yourself the way you would a small toddler having a meltdown. And don't antagonize it. Just diffuse the situation.
[00:08:11] Speaker B: Calm, calm. Love it.
So, Melanie, how can women continue showing up even when fear of judgment is. Is present? It's all around, right? That fear of judgment just.
They're stuck. And that fear of judgment, how can they just. They can press forward and show up even when that fear is. Is there in their face.
[00:08:38] Speaker C: And I get that because I have these conversations daily with clients.
I'm gonna give a very short example. And it works every time.
So the more confidence they gain, then they start getting bolder. And they'll be like, oh, do you think I can mention XYZ in my marketing? Because they're getting more confident now?
I never answer yes or no. And there's a reason why. Because they're an adult, and I'm an adult. But here's what I say to them is what you've just told me your truth.
And it always is. They've lived it. It's been an experience.
Then I say to them, when you get off this call, I want you on your own. I don't want Your partner, I don't want your children. I don't want friends. I don't want you talking to anyone in your peer circuit. I want you on your own to answer this question.
If I release this information into the world, have I got the emotional resilience to deal with it being a favorable outcome or a negative outcome every single time? It works because sometimes there's a feeling of, well, I should talk about this, and I have to be seen to be this way. No, you don't.
No, you don't. You are walking your path and telling your truth, right?
But you need to tell it in a way that is right for you and at the right time for you. Now, sometimes they'll come back to me and say, do you know what, Mel? Now's not the time.
Now when they say that, I say to them, just remember this, you're not saying no forever.
Six months from now, a year from now, even six weeks from now, you may feel stronger and therefore bring it out. So you're not saying no forever.
So the reason I gave that example is it takes guts to be visible. And you're doing this daily. This isn't just once a week. Marketing has to be continuous. So you're constantly giving of yourself.
So the way that I would work around that, in answer to your question, is, is show up in a way that feels right for you. Not because your coach or mentor tells you to, not because everyone in that industry is doing it. Like, you have to be solid as an oak tree in who you are.
And when you are, you, you, you walk to your own. The beat of your own drum.
[00:11:16] Speaker B: I love that.
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Because once again, so many times we.
We stand in our own way based on our fears, right? And that, that judgment, but like you said, just do it. And then, and then what impact, you know, are you. Are you presenting to the world? Right? If you share your story, this story, impact, or you, you, you want to, you know, harm someone with your words or, you know, negative that for. Right? And every time, like you said, it's impact, right? We want to make that change in the world.
Positive change in the world.
[00:11:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: So up next, we explore while why so many women feel pressure to present a perfect brand and how releasing perfection can actually deepens impact. Stay tuned with more flawless conversations.
We'll be right back to remind you.
[00:12:12] Speaker C: That healing is possible.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: Confidence is yours, and that you are flawless.
This is flawless conversations on NOW Media television.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: And we're back.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: I'm Tameka Jones. And you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready?
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Let's go.
Welcome back to Flawless Conversations.
Want more of what you're watching? Stay connected to Flawless Conversations in every NOW Media TV favorite show, live or on demand, anytime, anywhere. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock non stop bilingual programming in English and in Spanish on the move.
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We are here with Melanie talking about visibility, confidence and emotional healing in the online world, which can be very scary. Flawless Family in this segment, we're diving into the pressure women feel to appear perfect and how authenticity is actually the real power.
Flawless Family Women often believe professionalism requires perfection, which creates emotional stress, comparison, burnout, all the things right?
But authenticity builds trust and deepens the connection.
Melanie, where did the belief come from that professionalism requires perfection?
[00:14:25] Speaker C: There are many answers to that. It could have been the way you were brought up. Maybe you had parents that demanded perfection from you and, you know, you were punished if you didn't, you know, do as they wanted you to perform.
But the biggest one I see, and I know because I've lived it myself, is corporate. If you come from corporate, most of us were put in a box. We were told that that was what we were to do and nothing else.
And that can actually paralyze people with fear because they may want to try new things, but they don't because they think, oh, if, you know, there's a, you can be working for a boss who has no room for error, right? And if you make a mistake, it could mean that you lose a certain amount of your pay or you don't get a bonus or you don't get promoted. And so it keeps people very, very stuck.
And they, it's like they want to fly free, but they're afraid to in fear of it going wrong. So they just plod along doing the same old, same old, knowing that that's just safe.
And so it's the same with the online space.
I know myself, you know, I work with a lot of coaches. And the downside that has been going on in the coaching industry for a very long time is they have promoted the perfect lifestyle. How many times do we see someone say, my life's amazing. I live in a perfect house and I have the perfect car and I have this amazing wardrobe and we Go out for dinner every night to the most swankiest restaurant in town and we go to these lavish holidays. There is nothing wrong with that. I want people to be successful, but you shouldn't be leading with my life is perfect because it's a lie.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: I love it. I love it. I know. When I was one of your clients, Melanie, I know we talked about this. We talked about the, the, you know, me, you know, coming off as perfect when delivering my, my, my keynote speech. Because in particular, you helped me with that as well.
And me just being me authentically. Tamika. Right? Flawless Tamika. Not perfection.
What, what society says, the definition of flawless, but confidence, self love and resilience. That's my flawless. That's your flawless. That's all of our flawless. But, but, yeah, so we talked about this and this was a big one for me. Right.
[00:17:00] Speaker C: So, yeah, I love that. I, I really enjoyed working with you, Tamika, because.
And I'm not saying this to be horrible, I know, because we had conversations, but you were very much like, oh, but maybe I should just do this, you know, because that's what you're used to seeing. And so it does take guts to do something that is different.
And this is why so many women do struggle to be so visible.
Because if they're doing something that's different, well, they don't want to be seen to be stupid. They don't want to fail. What if it fails? And now I look daft. Yeah. But also there's a lot of a feeling of shame. So it's like, oh, but if I let people know that that happened in my life, maybe people won't work with me.
And it's so untrue. It's lies. It's all lies, all lies.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Like this TV show, public speaking. And, you know, I fear, fear, and I did this getting out of my comfort zone. Right. We have to get out of our own way, do things that's going to elevate us ultimately going to serve our purpose on this, this, this, this earth. Right? So, so that's, that's, that's huge. That's huge. And I love it. And thank you. Thank you, Melanie. Thank you.
How does pretending to be perfect affect emotional well being?
[00:18:25] Speaker C: Our emotions are not in check. You're going to spiral no matter.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:18:33] Speaker C: It's like, and I. Women are so guilty of this. It's like, we want to be liked all of the time.
It's impossible.
It is, actually. You are setting yourself up for the biggest fail ever.
But also, not only are you setting yourself up for a fail.
You are only going to be happy if people like you. And that's not business.
You know, you've got to get some tough skin in the game and realize that not everyone is going to agree with it or not everyone is going to see your vision.
Right? They could look at you and thinking, why is she doing that?
That's okay. Because it's not their vision. And so you have to stop feeling like you have to perform when you, like I said earlier, when you're solid as an oak tree, when the winds come circling around, which they're gonna. Because life is gonna life or people are gonna say things or do things, are you going to let that throw you off your game? Now, we're all human. We're gonna have good days, we're gonna have bad days. But 99 of the time, you have to know who you are. And as I say, have the emotional resilience.
So that if some people in your day don't agree with it, don't like it, put it down, you get a nasty comment. On social media, someone says something in an email, someone sends a message.
These are going to be alerts coming up in your day. You could be on a zoom call.
All these things that we do that make up our day, not 100 of them are going to be great. It's just life.
Are you going to let that small percentage you encountered in the day throw you off? You've got to have the emotional resilience to go, it's okay, it's okay. And get on with your day, right?
[00:20:37] Speaker B: And then you can only pretend for so long, right? Like you said, you're gonna.
You can only pretend for so long until you can't.
[00:20:45] Speaker C: You're setting yourself up for a fight. And also, this is interesting, and I think you may have said it to me as well.
When people get on a discovery call with me, they always say, oh, my goodness, you're just like you are on the lives that you do on social media. And I'm like, yeah, because it's emotionally draining to be something I'm not.
I don't want to. You know, how many times do you see someone who's. And I'm not having a pop at them. We're all who we are. But you can see someone who's doing a Facebook live and their whole body language, it's like they're reading the news. They might as well be in a new studio reading the news. They're very stiff, they're very wooden, they're very precise.
And a Lot of that will be fair. So I'm not bashing that.
But I want to be me. I want to show my humor. I want to be the way I am if I'm walking down the street. So, yes, the. The Mel you're gonna get on the other end of a zoom call is the Mel you're gonna get in daily life.
And that's what I get my clients to do. Like, stop this perfection.
Stop it now.
Show up. Be yourself. The right people will, number one, gravitate to you because you're being you and you're being genuine, but they'll also gravitate to the message.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah, you can connect, and you'll be able to connect better with your audience. Right. And then because you are showing who you. Who you really are. Right. Your true, authentic self, you know, day in and day out. And. And we all have flaws, which are our superpowers, right? So we can go on and on with that. But, yeah, I totally agree, Mel. I totally agree. So what's one reminder that helps women remember that authenticity is their strength is their superpower? So what is one reminder that you tell your women?
[00:22:40] Speaker C: I know it sounds cliche. It sounds really cliche, but I'm gonna say it. The fact you are a living, breathing human on this planet, having the gift of life is all that's necessary. You don't have to jump through hoops.
You don't have to perform.
You don't have to portray this perfect lifestyle. You don't have to do what everyone else around you is doing. When you start being you, and I mean the real you, not well, everyone else is doing it, so I'll do that too. I mean the real you. Right?
You set yourself free. I actually had a woman. I'm not going to go into what it was because I don't want to bring this into the conversation, but she was struggling with something.
I gave her a little bit of advice.
She then sent me a message back 24 hours later saying, thank you so much for what you said.
I went off and did what felt so close to my heart, what I told you yesterday. And in her words, she said, I feel free.
And I said, because you've allowed yourself.
Yes. You asked me for advice.
That's fine.
But fundamentally, you've done what you wanted to do, and that's why you feel free.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: Oh, I love it.
I love it.
So, Melanie, where can viewers connect with you?
[00:24:11] Speaker C: Little thing in the world?
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:24:14] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: Awesome. No worries. So where can viewers connect with you and learn more about your work and becoming More visible. More visible on social media and also your PR work. Where can they find you?
[00:24:30] Speaker C: You can find me on my website, which is you are your marketing dot com. You can find me on Instagram and on threads, the same handle. You are your marketing. And you can find me on Facebook with the name Melanie Whittaker. And I've got pink hair. And you can find me on LinkedIn with the name Melanie Whitaker. And again, pink hair.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: You are your marketing or Melanie Whitaker.
Great. That's awesome. Thank you. So coming up, we talk. We're going to talk about something deeply, deeply powerful. Letting your personal story become part of your professional voice. So don't go anywhere. We will be right back.
We'll be right back to remind you.
[00:25:14] Speaker C: That healing is possible.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: Confidence is yours, and that you, you are flawless.
This is Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: And we're back.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready?
[00:25:38] Speaker B: Let's go.
Welcome back to Flawless Conversations.
So, so many women try to separate their story from their work, but they're, they live, their lived experiences are often the very thing that creates impact and connection.
Flawless family personal storytelling builds emotional connection, leadership, presence, and healing. Women often fear overshadowing or being judged.
So boundaries and intentions are key.
Once again, women often fear overshadowing, oversharing, or being judged. So boundaries and intention are key.
Melanie, help me out with this.
Why is personal storytelling so powerful in building connections?
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Because when you tell a story, you are, when it's a story of your life, or maybe it's a story of an experience that you had, you are bringing people in. It's like someone going fishing and that bait at the end of the line and they're trying to catch the fish. Right? And so when we tell stories, we're welcoming people into our world and, and they have the free will whether they're going to stay or not. And so when you start telling stories, especially when it's a story of who you are and what you've been through as a business owner, this helps build connection.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: Absolutely.
I totally agree. So what fears comes up when women share their personal journey publicly? What, what fears do you hear women talk about when they go out social media or just in public speaking events and sharing their personal journey publicly?
[00:27:44] Speaker C: They, it's the usual, you know, number one is the fear come up. We're all human.
Fear of being judged, fear of being laughed at, fear of being mocked. What, you know, stupid little things. Like if you said public speaking, someone might, oh, My goodness. What if I trip up when I go onto the stage? It's all these things that we do and it's keeping you small. Basically all of that is it's your ego. At the end of the day, it's your ego and you've got to grow this thick skin to realize that people are going to think and do what they're going to do anyway. So live your best life. That's what I tell people. Get on with it.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Yeah. In the mindset. We have to shift our mindset and know that we can do all things if we, if we set our intentions towards it. Right. The skies is not the limit. People already been, they've been up to the, the to the moon. So sky is not the limit. It's beyond. So you could do whatever it is you set your mind too. It's just a shift in mindset. Right. Instead of speaking that negative self talk, self doubt, we have to reframe our beliefs. Right.
[00:28:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: How can storytelling become a healing tool for both speakers and their audience?
[00:29:02] Speaker C: This is so true. And I'm going to give a very brief example of how it's worked for me.
So I was in a book collaboration which came out in September, and I grew up with a narcissist. Thank you. And it's an Amazon number one, by the way. Just putting that in.
And I grew up with a narcissistic mother. Now my story was just telling that story basically, and how I've turned my life around.
Here's the thing that completely caught me off guard.
I didn't realize how by writing the chapter, it healed a part of me I didn't know needed healing.
And as soon as I sent it into the publisher and the publisher was like, it's good, you're ready to go.
I just had this feeling of, oh my goodness, I finally told my side of the story because I never got to tell my side of the story. That's not how narcissists work. It's all about them.
So to have my side of the story told was so healing.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I bet. How therapeutic to be able to release and let go and.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: Be free. Right.
Oh, I love it.
I love it.
So what? Boundaries help women share safety without over sharing. So what boundaries do you teach women?
[00:30:29] Speaker C: Yeah, because we all have, you know, a personal life. And I, I get asked this a lot with ladies that do pr, they're like, yeah, but you know, how much do I tell people?
And what I always say is, let's just create a line.
So the first one Is what are you not willing to talk about at all? Like, what's off guards? Absolutely no way. If I have something that they do not want to discuss at all, then I will let everyone that they're going to be in contact with, don't ever mention this.
Then we go to their personal life and I just say to them, you need to flip this to you being powerful more than feeling like a victim. So the way that you become powerful is to say to yourself, I get to say what I'm gonna say.
That's it. It's the same with your social media.
There's good and bad as there is in anything in the world. But the minute you feel powerful with your social media is when you control it, not it controls you. Right.
So if I'm going to get a troll on my comments, am I going to let that ruin things? No, because I wouldn't let a troll talk to me like that in real life. So I'm done. Well, not going to let it happen on a social media post. So it's the same with whatever you're doing, whether it's marketing a social media post, an email, maybe you're doing something like this, you're on a TV channel or a podcast, or you're writing an article.
You are in control of what you talk about, right? That's it.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: You hold the pen to your story. And I think you. You mentioned that to me as well. You hold that pen. And even when I was, you know, my beginning phases with you and I was sharing all type of things, like. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not comfortable with sharing that. Yeah, let's. I'll think about that. And you didn't push, right? You didn't push, you didn't pry. Okay. In your own timing, young timing and whatever you're.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: There's a reason why I don't push, which I know you know, because you were a client of mine. But I want to bring this out in this conversation.
The reason that I don't push is, well, we're all adults, but you have to feel 100 behind what you're doing, and it will come across if you don't. So let me give you an example. If I get a client some pr, I could absolutely love the pr. I'll be like, oh, my God, they have to do this pr. But I never present it that way.
I show neutral energy to it. And the reason that I do that is I want them to make the decision themselves. And I don't want them feeling, oh, if I say no, she's going to be offended. And so this is the same with when you're sharing things, you have to remember that you are in control.
And if you don't feel behind what you're letting the world know, it will come across. People see it in your body language. They'll see it in your tone of voice. You can sense when someone's on social media or you're listening to an interview and you'll be like, seems a bit weird here.
[00:33:39] Speaker B: We just feel it, that energy. Right.
So what belief reinforces that your story is powerful, not something to hide. You know, a lot of times you want to hide it and not share our story.
So what belief or affirmation or something you can you tell your women to reassure them that your story is powerful and it needs to be heard.
[00:34:07] Speaker C: Yeah. The, the thing I tell everyone because I firmly believe it is, you know, we live in a fast moving world. There's going to be a new app that's created and then there's going to be a new trend and, you know, it's just the way life is.
[00:34:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:20] Speaker C: What I always say to my clients is, your story is your story. And on top of that, nobody can take it away from you.
If someone wants to mock it, fine. You didn't live it. You didn't.
If someone wants to mock my story, I don't feel intimidated by that because I walked that path.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[00:34:43] Speaker C: They weren't there. They weren't there when I was on my knees feeling so sad. Yeah. Or feeling the anger or whatever the emotion was at that time.
So I really don't care if someone wants to mock that because they weren't there walking the path.
And that's all you can do. So when I talk to my clients, I say, your story is your story and nobody, nobody can ever take it away from you. Nobody.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. I love it, love it, love it, love it. Okay, Flawless family. Up next, we close with the conversation many women need. How to talk about your work confidently without feeling salesy. We'll be right back.
We'll be right back to remind you.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: That healing is possible, confidence is yours, and that you are flawless.
This is Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television.
[00:35:49] Speaker B: And we're back.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready?
[00:35:57] Speaker B: Let's go.
Welcome back to Flawless Conversations.
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In this final segment, we're talking about something that holds so many women back.
The discomfort around self promotion and visibility.
Many women equate talking about their work with being pushy or selfish.
Reframing visibility as service allows confidence to grow from self worth. Melanie, why do so many women feel guilty about talking about their work and their offers?
[00:37:25] Speaker C: They worry about are they going to be spammy.
I mean, number one is rejection. Nobody wants rejection.
And we worry if we're going to spam people.
And you know, there's the famous thing, isn't there? You know, so let's say someone puts out a social media post or they send an email and that's it about their offer. And let's say they do it on a Monday but they don't want to keep doing it because they're like, oh, but I have already said it once, I can't keep saying it. And the thing is, we already know that the algorithm, not everyone sees your posts anyway. But what you have to get in your mind is you're a business.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: And.
[00:38:10] Speaker C: So what you have to do is be talking about it, but there's a way of talking about it so that it's not funny.
[00:38:23] Speaker B: I totally agree. I totally agree. And I know a lot of times women, and I've talked to women coaches in particular when they are marketing their coaching packages, they struggle with the price, right.
They struggle with that self worth. Right? You have to know your worth to say, no, my package is 5,000 and my package can transform lives. And this is what I do. And this is I'm owning everything about what I do and, and the impact and how I show up and how I help others.
So a lot of times, absolutely, people struggle with that. Coaches in particular.
How can sharing.
[00:39:03] Speaker C: Yeah, and you know, we see.
[00:39:05] Speaker B: No, go ahead.
[00:39:06] Speaker C: Sorry. You know what I was going to say, I'll say this briefly. We see so many differing sides of it, don't we? Like, we see the big bro marketing or we see someone playing victim in the hope that, you know, you'll, you'll buy from them.
You have to have this self belief in yourself that your work transforms lives. And so you will happily talk about it because the way you frame it, the way you discuss it isn't by this, by this. What you're actually doing is showing them the transformation it's going to give them. And when you're talking about it from that angle, rather than buy this, it's this amount of money.
People don't want that. And also it's about allowing people to make their own mind up. You know, we see so many people being pushy and that's not the way to go.
[00:39:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't like that when, when people are, you know, being pushy. You know, I've, I've had coaches like, hey, you need to buy my program asap and, and, and have all the wise behind buying it. Like, okay, what is the impact? What, what am I gonna get out of this? Right. How's it going to benefit me? You know? Yes, benefiting you financially, but how is it going to benefit me mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically? All the things. Right.
So how can sharing your work be an act of service versus self promotion? I think we just talked about this, right?
Um, want to self promote? Like, hey, it's about me versus the service. The service before self. Right. Versus this is what I offer in the impact. Right.
[00:40:42] Speaker C: Here's the thing, you see, and again, I know I sound like I'm bashing the coaching industry, but like anything in life, there's good and there's bad. So the bad side that has been going on for a very long time in the coaching industry is talking about how fat their bank balances. I've made loads of money and you know, I, I, I'm, you know, it's all about them, it's all about the lifestyle, but you don't hear them talk about what happened to the client. How did you change the client's life? What was the result of that person working with you? It's all about money and it's all about status. Oh, well, now, now they've joined this and they're part of my gang and everything's going to be amazing and they're going to know these people and that people and they're not discussing about what they've actually encountered.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: I agree, I agree. Melanie, what mindset shift helps women feel proud of what they offer, their services they offer. What can, how can they shift their mindset to say, hey, this is who I am, this is what I offer, and this is impactful.
[00:41:51] Speaker C: It's knowing. We hear this phrase all the time, but I'm going to say it just because we hear it all the time.
It's knowing what you bring to the table.
So instead of, you know, you can tell when someone believes in what they're doing by their body language.
Are they kind of stooped or are they kind of, you know, confident in the way that they hold themselves?
Are they stumbling over their words? Is their eyes down on the floor?
Like everything that someone does is leaning towards that sale. Now I'm not saying go through all this sleazy sales, gimmicky stuff, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is when you believe in what you do, the whole way you show up is confident. And that is part of selling just as much as what you sell.
And what's going to happen to that person when they purchase it. It's the delivery and the self belief and knowled that when someone purchases that they're going to change their life. And if you know that, if you can stand solid in that belief, knowing it will, you're fine, you're good. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And it's how you frame it. Because if all you're going to do is say, buy this, it's this amount of money, treat them like a human being, get on their level.
You don't have to lead with the sale straight away. In fact, I advise you that you don't. If someone's coming to you for assistance and they know that that's what you deal with, meet them at their level, find out what they're struggling with, find out what they need assistance with. And when you know if it's a good fit for you to help that person, then you're just, you're doing a disservice to them by not offering it.
But then you're also doing a disservice to yourself because you're a business and you need to make money. So it's totally okay to say to someone, you know what, you've told me that you're struggling with this. I do this, I can take that problem and turn it into a solution. And this is how we would do it. And you go into a little bit of detail and then say if this is what you're interested in, it is blah, blah, blah.
There's no pressure, there's no sleazy gimmicky stuff. You're just presenting it the way I would. If I said to you, would you like a tea or a coffee? There's no pressure. And even if you say no to either drink, I'm still good. Like it's us that make it mean something.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: Absolutely. I so agree. Love it Love it, love it, love it, love it. Yes, Melanie. On flawless Conversations, we asked the guests to give the flawless, flawless family a flawless nugget and a flawless fact. A flawless fact is something about you that we. You think we should know. Or it could be a funny fact, a fun fact. It could be something you love to do. Just anything that.
About Melanie. We just want to know more about Melanie. So that's the flawless fact. If you want to give us that.
If you love coffee, it could be anything.
[00:45:12] Speaker C: Okay, I'm just gonna give something about my personal life.
So I, a few years ago, did an all around the world trip on my own, which I absolutely loved. I could only do it for a month, so it wasn't like I was away for a whole year or six months or something. And I loved it. I got to see parts of the world that I really wanted to do. Say it was great to see different cultures and it was just fun.
[00:45:39] Speaker B: I loved some of the places you did you go. Like, what places? Some places you went.
[00:45:45] Speaker C: I was living in London when I did it, so I flew from London to la.
I was in LA for two nights. My favorite DJ was actually international superstar. DJ was playing at the LAX arena. So went and saw him. That was amazing. That's a story in itself then.
So after the two nights of L. A. I then went to the Cook Islands in the South Pacific.
Stayed in a place, an island called Rarotonga, the capital of the cooks. Was there two weeks. Then from there I went to Hong Kong.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:46:18] Speaker C: No, I didn't. No, I didn't. From there I went to Australia. Sorry. And I did five nights in Sydney. Five, five nights in Byron Bay, which is just a bit further up from Sydney. And then from there I went to Hong Kong and I think I was in Hong Kong maybe two or three nights and then came back to London.
[00:46:37] Speaker B: Awesome. Love it, love it, love it, man. Do some traveling.
[00:46:40] Speaker C: Brilliant.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: So give us a flawless, flawless nugget. Something that the audience can take away, put in their back pocket, give a family member, give a coworker, something that they can have and use when times get hard. A life is lifey. Any. Any words of wisdom or nuggets you can give us?
You gave us so many gems throughout the.
[00:47:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:47:06] Speaker B: Throughout the show.
[00:47:07] Speaker C: And I really love to talk about marketing just because I know so many people struggle with it. Even though I love it, I know people don't appreciate it. They. It's a necessary evil.
I want to say, as regards a nugget, when it comes to your marketing, don't overthink it. Most people are stuck in this perfection zone. They can create a real for hours on end or it could take them days to do.
And what you need to realize is you just got to get your work out there.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: Okay? You hear that?
[00:47:40] Speaker C: Lies in it.
[00:47:42] Speaker B: Don't overthink it. Flawless family, Melanie. Where can can people follow you if they want to continue your work?
[00:47:48] Speaker C: Yeah. So they can find my website, which is you are your marketing dot com.
They can find me on Instagram and threads with the same handle. You are your marketing. They can find me on Facebook with pink hair and the name Melanie Whittaker. And they can find me on LinkedIn with the same pink hair and the name Melanie Whittaker.
[00:48:12] Speaker B: Melanie, thank you for bringing us such joy, honesty, and wisdom to this conversation. It's been real. Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
[00:48:22] Speaker C: Thank you. I loved it.
[00:48:24] Speaker B: Yes. So today we talked about fear, authenticity, storytelling, and confidence and the truth that women don't have to be perfect to be powerful. To every woman watching, your voice matters. Your story matters. In your presence, it's not something to shrink. It's something to honor. This is flawless conversations where healing meets empowerment. I'm Tamika Jones, and we'll see you next time.
