Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Flawless Conversations. I'm Tameka Jones and today we're diving into how mindset can shift your life, your confidence, your purpose.
You're watching.
Welcome to Flawless Conversations where identity meets impact and your story becomes your power.
Hi, I'm Tameka Jones, Air force veteran, registered nurse, bestseller author, speaker and identity and confidence coach.
This is more than a conversation. This is a space where leaders, entrepreneurs and visionaries share their real journey behind their success, growth, the pressure, the pivots and the lessons and the truth that shape who they are. Today, I'm honored to be joined by Dr. Rae Johnson, C CEO and Chief Strategist of Creative Inc.
She is a transformational leadership leader strategist who helps leaders move from dysfunction through mindset and leadership. Dr. Ray, welcome to Flawless Conversations.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Hello. Hello. Thank you, Dr. Zamika. I really appreciate the invitation and the opportunity to share with you and your audience.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Thank you for being here. Dr. Ray, this is amazing. On this show, I. I walk through my signature floss method because I believe that we. That what we've been through doesn't disqualify us. It prepares us. My flaws method is not about fixing who you are. It's about revealing who we always been beneath the pain, the labels and the limitations.
My signature flaws method. Face it, love it, accept it, walk through it. And five, four, three, two.
Let's go.
Dr. Ray, what was the first uncomfortable truth you had to face about your leadership style, if any, or what skill set have you changed over the years, if any?
[00:02:05] Speaker B: So one of the things I realized about myself as I was becoming who I am today in leadership is that I over function, high performance and it wasn't a matter so than it was misalignment.
I was so concerned about how others saw me and the value that they placed on my impact and my influence that I was pushing myself at a capacity that I couldn't sustain and I was headed to and it was also coming out and how I led the processes, procedures and people that was under my leadership.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: That's good. And I was the total opposite. Dr. Ray.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: I
[00:02:55] Speaker A: also right hindered my growth. Right. My lazy eye, my alopecia, my. My birthmark, my afraid of public speaking, all these things. I allowed it to hinder my growth and I stayed quiet and also stayed stuck for years.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: Right.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: So I can totally relate. But on a. On, on the flip side of that, when did you think.
When you think about the quiet weight of leadership, what were you carrying along that started leaking into your culture or into other relationships or how you lead?
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Trying to be everything to everybody.
There were. There is a sense of control that comes with high performing, but it's led by fear.
Not wanting to fail, not wanting to fall short, to show that I really deserve to be there. And I love the fact that you said that it was the flip side of what I was doing, because I do see under functioning or having your voice stolen from you and over functioning as being two sides, different sides of the same coin.
And with me, that fear drove me into can't fail.
Don't. Don't look stupid. Don't make the company look bad. You know, just all the things. And it can be stifling, actually.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's pretty deep. That's pretty deep because it. And it affects you on all levels.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: It affect your. Your ability to lead. Right. Relationships, household, family, all the things. Right. Your health.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Yes.
As a matter of fact, that actually was a breaking point for me because I did not give myself grace and space to process, to really see where I stood and everything that was happen.
My body started to break down because.
Well, your body keeps the score. Whatever's going on, whatever you're not addressing it is silently suffering because of it.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: Absolutely. I agree. So what did accountability look like for you in real time? And I know you just. Just. You just mentioned it. Mentioned it. You had to slow down and, And, And. And give yourself the space and grace,
[00:05:22] Speaker B: as you just said.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: So I learned how to have intentional conversation instead of avoiding it.
I also learned that it was okay to say the hard thing. It's not just what we say, but it's what we say, how we say it, when we say it, and who we say it to.
So clarity became a big thing for me. But clarity also starts with self.
So in order to understand my leadership presence, I had to understand self awareness. I had to understand why I was doing what I was doing, what was the results of what I was doing. Like, I really had to get in touch with who Rachelle is and why she performs like she performs. It meant resetting expectations for myself and for others on which they had on me and to stop tolerating some of the things that. That it gotten me to this state.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: Yes. And boundaries. I hear boundaries all through that.
[00:06:25] Speaker B: Yes. Yes.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: I. When I coach some of my clients, I tell them, no, no is a complete sentence. No. Period. Right. You don't owe anyone an explanation behind that. No. No is a complete sentence. Right. No.
[00:06:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: You know, and many times we do. We try to overcompensate and explain our nose or Explain why we. But we don't owe anyone anything. And that's having those healthy boundaries, right?
[00:06:53] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:55] Speaker A: What is one early warning sign you recognize now that tells you that you are slipping into a reactive leadership? Instead of being intentional and leading with intention versus that reactive or emotional leading.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: So my smile or my trickleness with this is that it's still a thing for me.
I still feel it happening, but now I know how to stop it from happening. And what that is is short patience.
Part of over performance.
Specifically if it is how you operate. Sometimes there's a need to get in there and push and push hard. But that should not be our consistent place. It should not be where we live.
But if you make that a place where you live and don't address the underlining concerns or the underlining reasons with why you are performing this way, there's a place where burnout and fatigue starts to come in and you get short tempered.
I usually would rely on my team to say things like, hey, you holding too much, you're carrying too much or this is what we're here for.
And without them I had to start noticing like when I go into situations on my own or events that I put on, I have to start paying attention. If there's a short fuse, if I get frustrated easily about something, I'm out of alignment, have taken on something or tried to control something that was not for me to do. As the kids would say, you're doing too much.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: Yes. And that's self aware. Being self aware with yourself and knowing that. Okay, being observant of that inner voice. Right? Because you know, we talk all day, we have dialogue all day long in our head. Right.
I mean in my head I'm like, okay, does she want to be called Rachel or Ray? You know, so we have these, these, this talk in our head. But being, stepping outside of yourself and being aware of these thoughts right before you say, before you act, before you do.
[00:09:08] Speaker B: Right.
[00:09:09] Speaker A: That self awareness is key. Dr. Ray.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes. And let me apologize because I don't want to give the audience shaken adult syndrome, but I realize that I have started to creep here.
So I love, I love what you said in the way you say it.
We tend to stay in our heads, some people more than others, and just being transparent, part of over functioning or overperforming being a default mechanism for some people, we tend to overthink.
Now the result of it or what it looks like as we're doing it can be different.
I'm glad you found your voice. We're all Glad you found your voice. But for someone whose default may be to silence myself doesn't mean that you don't still overthink because it's a way of protecting you from when to say what to say what I may be perceived as. Well, for overthinker, it's the same type of thing, but the protection or the focus there is.
Am I saying the thing to let them know? You know, it's almost like a. I don't, I don't want to speak for everybody, but for myself it's almost like a people pleasing. I need you to understand that I have this and then let me have it. Trust me.
So what happens a lot of times is I can find myself in a place where I'll over explain, I'll overextend, but then the result of that is being a leadership strategist. Then I'm not empowering you. I'm actually stifling you and stopping you from doing the thing you need to do and then frustrating myself when it doesn't look the way it's supposed to look.
[00:10:50] Speaker A: Right. And then it's in add on to that, who am I to say how it's supposed to look? Who. Who are you? You know, like it looks how it is. Right? Right. No right or wrong. It just is right. So a lot of times we have these false sense of what things should be or what things look like or how I should perform or how I should not perform based on like you just said, people pleasing.
Right.
Such. But, but it is that, that fear. And then we have to get behind, you know, the fear. The why is behind not all. Everything doesn't need to be the why. Right? Get to the why. Not everything. But we do need to dig deep to, to, to, to get to the root of, of things.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: Right? Yes. Yes.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: So that right there sounds like awesomeness. Right. And awareness is where the transformation begins. Dr. Ray.
So don't go anywhere y', all because after the break we're stepping in to love it.
And that's part of my flaws method. We talked about face it facial fears, whatever it is we talked about to face it. And now we're going to step into the love it. We are talking about the kind of conversation that stays steady under pressure. More to come on flawless conversations.
We'll be right back to remind you that healing is possible.
Confidence is yours and that you are flawless.
This is flawless. Conversations on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready? Let's go.
For more powerful conversations like this, watch Now Media TV live or on demand, on Roku or iOS and catch the podcast version at www.nowmedia TV anytime, anywhere.
Well, I'm here with Dr. Rachelle Ray Johnson.
Now we are stepping into love it. Because the way we value ourselves will always show up in how we communicate, how we set boundaries and what we allow to become normal around us. This conversation is about confidence that is not performative.
This is the presence driven leadership.
The kind where your nervous system, your voice, your standards and your energy all match the level you say you are operating at.
Dr. Ray, when you think back, what did confidence used to mean to you and what does it mean now as a more intentional leader and strategist? I love it.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: That's a good question. That's a really good question. Okay, so if I had to give it a description, I would say that I used to think confidence was something that I could wear, something I could put on, but now I know that it's something that I operate in.
Back then again, I was so concerned with performance and proving and control and what that looked like. Again, the analogy of something that you wear. But now I understand it to be clarity, alignment, more than anything, consistency.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: I agree with that. And then someone asked me which one comes first, confident or action? I think action comes before confident because once you start stepping right, right. And, and, and, and aligning with who you are becoming, you grow confident and more confident and more confident. And that was me with public speaking even taking this on, becoming a host. I'm like, who me to make? Oh no. Public. No. But I stepped into it, right? And I'm doing it each and every Monday I'm doing it and, and I'm growing to love it. Right? And I show up as who I'm becoming every day.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: Right.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: Peeling back those layers. Right.
So what's the difference between being a high functional leader and being a truly mindful leader?
[00:15:14] Speaker B: A mindful leader takes into consideration truth versus tension and who they are, who they're serving, why they're serving.
I like to put like four pillars to them. The first is leadership presence.
Not just what I look like when I show up, but how do I show up, how am I navigating.
And in order to do that, the second pillar is self awareness. I need to first understand who I am and who I am in different circumstances and situations, in real time.
And then I need to be able to articulate that, mirror that. So the third one is mindful communication.
The very last one is Team dynamics.
Because whether you are a leader with a team of me or a leader with a team of multiple diverse individuals, how I show up and what I do with the information on who I am and how I show up is going to affect things around me.
You said that confidence for you starts with action.
I had to really listen to what you said and digested it because I was actually getting ready to say, I'm not so sure. But no, I think you're right. I think that once I understand who I am and what I have to offer, it allows me to then move.
I think that they are symbolic. That's not the word I want to use. Help me, help me. That they are. Symbiote. That's the word there. Symbiote. One operates off the other one and the other operates off the first. So you can't have one without the other.
I'm going to lose confidence if I don't keep moving. But if I don't move, I won't be able to exercise the muscle.
So if so, how I show up and who I am in showing up. Right.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: Right. I love it. So what's. What is one? Boundary?
You said that immediately upgraded how people experience you and how you even experience yourself.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: I'm gonna say clarity.
Perception is reality and reality is true.
We know and can agree on that. One plus one equals two.
However, depending on how I am, how I see that through my lens of experience and all the other things is contingent upon whether or not I feel strong about that too.
Resting on that too, Depending on who I am and what I do will sometimes either allow me to go, yeah, one plus one is two, or start to think is two plus one, one, two.
Is there another way of looking at that, too?
Let me try to make it clearer. I don't know if you remember this or not, but there was a meme that was going around with a number on it, and depending on which way you flip the number, depending on what the number was for you.
Activity I used to like to do with emerging leaders was to put that number on a piece of paper and have someone stand to my left and someone stand to my right, and then ask them, even if they discern what we were doing, what number they saw, and of course, one would give me a six, one would give me a nine. Because depending on which way you turn, it is what it looks like.
And then I would ask the rest of the leaders in the room.
So one boundary for me is clarity. Just because you give me something through your lens doesn't Mean, I'm going to decipher it the way you want me to through my own.
And it doesn't mean in most circumstances, especially when we think about something as intangible as leadership, that there is a hard, fast right and wrong. But depending on the circumstances, depends on the outcome. And if I'm looking for the same outcome, then I need to have clarity. So I make sure that I give clarity and I get clarity, because then that protects all my other boundaries.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: I. I love it. Clarity. I love it.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: Yes, ma'. Am.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: That's key to. To not just leadership, just clarity in life.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: Right.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: And that perception is huge, how we perceive. Perceive things in our reality.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Right.
[00:19:59] Speaker A: My perception may be totally different, you know, from yours in reality. And it's okay, you know, that's what it is, perception.
How do you keep your presence credible when you are under pressure, when you operate?
How do you keep it?
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Consistency.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: Consistency. And you mentioned clarity. Okay, Okay.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: Y' all hear that, right?
[00:20:24] Speaker A: Okay, audience. Clarity. Now she's getting ready to get into consistency.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: So there are variances to how we do things. It's just human nature.
But at its core, I should be able to identify a thread.
At my core, there is a thread, and I'm going to always show up by standing on that thing.
Each of us has a thing.
So regardless of where you meet me, whether it's in the corporate world, whether it's in ministry, whether it's in relationship, whether it's in family, there is a consistent thread to whom Rachelle is. Which is why when people ask me, what do you prefer, Dr. Rachelle Johnson Ray or Rachelle Ray?
She is just the different ways I have to show up in different places, face forward.
If I'm at home, I can just be Ray. But that is not a real difference between Dr. Ray, Rachelle, Ms. Johnson, she's all the same person.
You're going to get the same consistency, the same control, the same who I am. It's just that how am I navigating in who I am in that moment?
[00:21:52] Speaker A: You said it. I am. I am who I am.
I am Ray. I am a woman. And you know, I had to get past when I retired from the military, right?
I had to find my. My identity. Who Tamika was 23 years of the Air Force, trying to navigate that. And before that, I was a broken young woman. And I had to take some months, gears to. To navigate who is Tamika. Without all the accolades, without. I'm a nurse. I'm a. I'm a. I'm an author. I'M all these things, right? All these nice pretty things. But who is Tamika to the core?
And once I did that, that's when things begin to shift for me. That alignment that you talk about, Dr. Ray.
[00:22:36] Speaker B: Yes.
I believe that when we don't have or don't understand our true identity, we are subject to everyone and everything's image or their understanding of the image they want us to hold.
And that can be tiring. And again, not to keep, not to beat a dead horse. But it's unsustainable. If I show up all the time based off of your perception, your understanding of who I am, I'm going to continue to lose myself and eventually it's going to be too heavy of a burden to carry. And that's what I think happens with a lot of our leaders. We forget that we're functioning in certain operations, able to do certain things.
That doesn't mean that who we are, there's so much more to who we are. So when we can identify with ourselves first, it makes it so much easier to then be skillful.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Yes, yes. Putting it all together, the whole I am right.
That is the shift. Confidence come from alignment, not applause.
[00:23:49] Speaker B: Right.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: Not titles.
So where can people connect with you to learn more about the race services?
[00:23:57] Speaker B: So I'm more active on LinkedIn and so you can find me on LinkedIn by Creative Inc. LLC.
You know when you do the URL or you can just do a search for Dr. Rachelle Ray Johnson. Either way I'll come up and my website sure fire way to get me ww creativeinc.com now you almost forget it yourself.
So those are the best ways to reach out to me.
[00:24:28] Speaker A: Okay. And that's creative with the K, correct?
[00:24:31] Speaker B: Yes. Creative with a K. Inc with a K. So K R E A T I V E I N K llc.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: So stay right there, don't go anywhere because next up next we're moving into accepted the AMI flaw signature method. And we're talking about identity, values and the kind of decision that protects your purpose.
And we're back. I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready? Let's go.
Welcome back. I'm still here with Dr. Ray and now we are in the acceptant Accept it in my flaw my signature floss method.
Accept who you are, your true authentic self. Right the A and accept it fighting your story and start using it accepting who you truly are, your true authentic self. Because acceptance is not settling.
Acceptance is clarity. As Dr. Ray told us. Clarity Clarity, clarity and consistence is key in leadership. This segment is about alignment. It is about who you are becoming and what would no longer serve you, what you no longer would tolerate, and what kind of culture you are responsible for creating. This is where identity stops becoming operational. Dr. Ray, what part of your story did you have to accept before your leadership stopped feeling like you were constantly proving yourself to everyone? And I know you mentioned this earlier, so if you didn't hear hear earlier, I suggest you go back to the first segment and catch the first segment because she has given us all the tea, all the nuggets, all the gems.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: So I started leading for real.
And I know that can fall empty if you would give me grace for just a moment where I was crossing all the T's and dotting all the things that I needed to do and I had a Grammy, women that were under me and there was a lot of changes that was happening above me that was trickling down.
I learned then too, that culture is either build or broken in the middle.
I was the middle.
And I'm trying to hold up the expectation of others from top down to me while protecting the ability for those that were supporting the mission and vision with me, those who reported to me.
And I realized at some point who I was, I had to stand on it. It wasn't a matter of proving it anymore, it was a matter of truly leading.
So that's what I started to do.
I had the clarity that I needed from the top down to me. And I'm providing those that work with me, those that report to me the consistency that they needed. And that's when I started to really live in that calm, confident place of leadership.
And that's what I did. I just actually started leading.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: And sometimes, Dr. Ray, that could be difficult because I remember being in the military as an element leader and I assisted flight commander and being in that middle, right? You got to answer to leadership, you got to make sure things are good up top. But then you got your people under you, that's working for you, that's telling you these probably and it, but then all leadership is worried about let's make it happen. Let's, let's, let's, let's, you know, execute the mission. Let's, let's do it, right. So sometimes it gets kind of hard being in, in that, that gray area, that middle person, right? And you being your true authentic self, taking care of your people because people first, right? Mission always people first, right? So there are times that you are, you're not going to Be that likable person. You're not going to be like by leadership. You're not gonna, you know, even. Even somebody. The people under you. Right. Because you're making these hard decisions.
They're not going to like what you're doing or any changes that maybe you're trying to make or implement. Because who loves change?
A lot of people don't.
So that's hard, Dr. Ray, but it's doable. But it could be difficult.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: It can be very difficult. And for me, the formula was the clarity and the consistency.
Because then I gave Rachelle the freedom to stop saying, see what I can do, see how I'm handling it. I got out of that perpetual proving and really started to operate in doing the thing, actually leading.
And it alleviated that pressure that you're referring to when in the middle. Stopped me from being crushed.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: What values do you refuse to negotiate now, even if it costs you the money, the comfort or popularity?
[00:30:28] Speaker B: Oh, I sound like a broken record. I know I do. But my integrity. Integrity is more important to me than anything.
Accountability and the understanding that comfort is not required.
I think that comfort and complacency is as much as a distraction as fear and fatigue.
I think fear comes to make you tired, to wear you down, and to prevent you from being effective.
But I also think that complacency is something that we voluntarily will grab. Complacency, that need for comfort. So therefore, we won't do, say, or show up in hard places.
We won't say. We won't do the hard thing. We won't say the hard thing. We won't show up in hard places. But that's where growth is and where real leadership, I believe, can show its muscle.
[00:31:33] Speaker A: Absolutely. And we use those words. Right? I'm just. I'm just the introvert. I'm just. No, I had. I had a huge fear. It was. It was public speaking. I don't. I'm just an introvert. I don't know. Let's call it what it is, that clarity, like you said.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: I'm glad you said that, because being an introvert or being an extrovert or being able to have a combination of them both just speaks to how I give and exude energy.
It is not supposed to be an explanation for not doing something.
So a lot of times when I'm working with leaders, we ask them about the different styles, but not so that they just. Not just so they understand where they fall and the pros and cons of each style, but so that they can become multilingual.
Let me expound if I may.
So I am a direct communicator. I'm going to say the thing, but I understand that some people have an indirect way of understanding, processing and hearing things.
So I have to be multilingual. I'm not changing who I am as a communicator, but I'm changing the way that I communicate my direct conversation to someone who hears indirectly.
So I find it important that we don't label for the sake of being able to explain what we do and why we're doing it, but we label it as a way of understanding how to use the superpower in that thing to do what it is that we
[00:33:12] Speaker A: desire to get done right versus using it as a crutch.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: Yes, Yes.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. What decisions help bring you back to that alignment quickly?
Was it that that restructure, hard conversation or just setting new standards for yourself?
[00:33:31] Speaker B: So it was a need to restructure to kind of get myself out of the mindset that I had placed myself in.
It also was resetting expectation. I don't mean the type of expectation that this is the job that needs to be done and this is what we want to see at the end. I mean the expectation of myself and others.
A lot of times when we are silent and won't use our voice, we are robbing people of the knowledge and the experience that we have that they need to get something done or to get to another place.
When we are over performing, over explaining, short tempered, I have to be in control.
Then we're robbing people of the experience of figuring it out and collaborating, being mindful. I needed to reset expectation as well as reestablish structure.
A lot of times that would happen with direct communication with myself and then direct communication with others.
[00:34:43] Speaker A: Dr. Ray, when you are mentoring a leader who is stuck in the comparison trap, what do you teach them to measure instead so they can lead from that? Identity versus insecurity.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: When I talk to people, I try to listen for the unspoken language.
And a lot of times when we're talking to people, we are intent on listening to exactly what they say in order to respond.
But if we start to listen to the patterns in what they say, the tone that they're using, and things of that nature, we can actually start to hear where the real problem is.
We get symptoms more times than not and we have to find the defining, the defining thing.
So I like to get people's mind away from the comparison.
I want to be like Dr. Tamika.
I want to write books And I want to stand on stages.
And when I hear that conversation, I then go, okay, so what does it look like to you? If you can have the opportunities to that she has, that does not say, stop thinking about her and let's focus on you. It starts to slowly shift their perspective so that we can get on them. Then we'll start to hear that it may be that they think there's a lack of on the stage or there's a lack of confidence. I don't know if I can put down my thoughts on paper and then it be successful. It allows me to get them away from the comparison, put it back on them and what it is that they're trying to accomplish.
And now we can come up with tangible ways of making that happen.
Also keeping in mind that because my focus is initially on this other person or this other thing, it might drift back that way. So if I come up with actionable things that we're going to do to reach where it is that you want to be as a leader, now we can put realistic time frames on it. Because in my mind, you're an overnight sensation.
I wasn't there for the countless drafts and edits. I wasn't there for the pep talk that you had to give you when you got on stage and convince yourself, don't run off after you said your last word.
So when I get these ways that we can help them execute it, we give them a realistic way of seeing success so their mind doesn't go back to, well, she did it overnight.
There's no such thing as an overnight success. The saying says every overnight success was seven years in the making.
So that is my method and my technique.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: I love it.
Yes, alignment creates clarity, and clarity creates that momentum. Coming up next, we're moving into the W and the S of my signature flaws method. Work on your struggles in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Step in your purpose where we talk about the discipline, execution and practical wisdom and the viewers can apply right away.
More to come on Flawless Conversations.
We'll be right back to remind you that healing is possible, confidence is yours, and that you are flawless. This is Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television. Are you ready? Let's go.
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from business to lifestyle to culture, Now Media TV is available 24. 7. Welcome back to our final segment with Dr. Ray.
We have faced the truth, rebuilt confidence and moved into alignment. Now we're going where transformation becomes visible. This is where purpose get its wings. This is where leadership becomes action. This is about execution with intention, not doing more just to be busy, not leading from chaos, but building systems, standards and practices that create real results, real culture change. Dr. Ray, when motivation is not there, what discipline practice helps keep your leaders consistent or gain that clarity that you talk about? I got to put that one in my back pocket, that clarity piece, because I love it, I love it, I love it.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: So purposeful decision making, being intentional about decision making, making sure that they are not only, not only am I structured, but for discipline that I'm structured in specific routines. There are some things that will need to be done, have to be done a specific, specific way at a specific time. And the last one is key.
And that is showing up how I feel.
It doesn't always have to be like I don't feel well or I'm just not feeling it.
Sometimes it could be lack of understanding.
It's real easy to do the thing when you can believe in it and buy in it. But if you yourself are still gaining clarity and understanding about the thing and the results of it, you will tend to rely on how you feel.
Do I need to show up? Then I'm showing up and how I feel about it or within it will come into alignment as I move. It's the whole thing that we were talking about earlier with action and confidence, the decision making, once you have decided on to move towards that. Now if a pivot is needed, that's fine, but then make the decision and then move on the pivot. I like to tell people that motivation is optional, but discipline is not.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: Can you say that again?
[00:41:33] Speaker B: Motivation is optional, but discipline is not.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: So we need that discipline, right? Regardless, we need that at 5 o' clock in the morning, get up to work out, meditate, do all the things you know, that discipline, that, that, what do you call it?
Mindset, set building.
And whether or not the motivation is there, whether or not I have the music in the background, I have it right? But that discipline needs to. I love it. Dr. Ray, you just dropped. Oh, what is one communication shift you made?
I'm sorry, go ahead.
[00:42:10] Speaker B: No, no, please go ahead.
[00:42:12] Speaker A: What is one communication shift you made that reduce confusion and increase accountability?
Across your team.
[00:42:21] Speaker B: So again, clear communication. But this part of it is the key roles and responsibility.
There needs to be ownership for the and you can't assume that because I'm in a leadership role that it's always mine.
I am going to be the one that oversees.
I'm going to be responsible for the risk.
That does not mean that there is no ownership for you as well as me.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:42:56] Speaker B: So clear rules and responsibilities.
[00:42:59] Speaker A: Clear roles and responsibilities.
Yes.
When you are dealing with negativity or negative attitude or either cultural friction, what is your first move? To address it without being if or harsh as they say, harsh
[00:43:21] Speaker B: to address it in the moment. Now this is something that I'm realizing that not many people can do but we all can work on it and be great at it. And that is emotional intelligence, staying in emotional awareness, self regulation and empathy.
I'm looking at about how I feel in the moment, what I feel in the moment and why that is. That's my self awareness regulation.
Once I did that upset me or excited me, it allows me to look at how I respond to it. Whether it's going to be heightened, decreased or somewhere in the middle because not as an angry be perceived if we're intent.
The very last thing is now I want to see the other players in it and look at it from their perspective best I can because then that also will allow me to distinguish passion from violence or that aggression.
[00:44:32] Speaker A: Okay, I love it, love it, I love it, I love it. So that was empathy.
What's the other one? Self aware regulation.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: Yes ma'.
[00:44:43] Speaker A: Am.
[00:44:44] Speaker B: Yes ma'. Am. That's it exactly.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: So on my show for the guests, I asked them for a flawless fact and also a flawless nugget. The flawless fact is one personal truth about yourself that we would never guess about you. It could be something that's something as simple as I love chocolate ice cream. Right. We didn't know that. But something the audience just trying to get to know Dr. Ray a little more. It could be anything. And then I also asked for a flawless nugget, right? One practical step or advice the audience can take away from this segment and use put in their back pocket as a resource or probably even give or maybe even give to a a coworker or a family member in need at that time. So what is your flawless.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: So the first thing that came to mind, and I don't know if it's fair or not because if you paid me just a little bit of attention you probably could discover this.
But purple is my happy place.
I always have it on me. I always have it near me.
Because I find strength and calm, peace and contentment in the color Purple.
[00:45:59] Speaker A: I. I love it. Purple symbolizes a lot of things.
Okay. Love it, love it, love it. And then your flawless nugget. Something we can. We can take away from the segment and use.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: Yes.
I encourage everyone to take a look at themselves outside of how everybody see you.
Not what they call you, not what they expect of you, not what they're looking for from you, but who you are.
And when you do that, I want you to dispel the lie.
If you know that you have a voice and you think quick on your feet or you have solutions, don't shy away from telling it because somebody told you that they couldn't find understanding in what you do or they didn't think that what you said was worth it.
I want us to start to look at who we really are.
The good, the bad and indifferent.
Sit in it and then stop wearing things that we want to be known for or we want to do, but to truly operate in it. But if you don't know where you are, who you are or where you start, then you can't be the thing that you're supposed to be for the rest of us. Because we need you. We don't need the facility.
We.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: You.
My goodness.
So impactful, so enlightening. Thank you. Dr. Ray, how can people follow you, connect with you and learn? Learn more about creative income.
[00:47:47] Speaker B: I would like for people to take the journey on LinkedIn with me. I leave, I put up articles and tips and tools, two minute resets for leaders.
And you can do that by going to LinkedIn, the regular URL N. Backslash Creative Inc. LLC. Of course, that's K R E A T I V E.
And honestly, that's how I show up on all my social media platforms. But I interact with LinkedIn almost daily.
Or you can always go to the website.
There are tools there, surveys that you can take to see where you stand as a mindful leader or how you contribute to your culture, to cultural alignment within organization, as well as just how you can connect with me as a trainer, coach, or as a speaker. And that's ww.com and that
[00:48:52] Speaker A: with the
[00:48:52] Speaker B: K.
Yes, yes, let's not Forget the
[00:48:55] Speaker A: K. Dr. Ray, thank you for bringing such depth and wisdom to this conversation.
Dr. Ray showed us what leadership really looked like. Not just in what she does, but in who she is and who she became and how she lead others to do the same. I'm Tamika Jones. And this has been flawless conversation where identity meets impact and your story becomes your power. Until next time, stay flawless.
